ILLICIT

April 19, 2017
ILLICIT
15

after wearing my h&m sneakers to death for the past 6+ months, i concluded that this was not a trend that i plan on parting with anytime soon. so i figured it was time to add a new pair to my shoe collection. i remember back in 6th grade that adidas track pants were THE pants to own – you know the ones – they had the button snaps all the way up the sides of the legs for the quickest and easiest removal and made the coolest swish sound when you walked. i had a pair in black + navy blue and, just like my current white sneaker obsession, i wore the shit out of them. then i entered 7th grade and for some reason, my adidas pants and the brand in general, fell of the face of my fashion earth. fast forward many years later (almost 15 to be exact. am i old?) and adidas has finally made its way back into my closet.

this amazing stella mccartney sweater tunic has the sweetest little side cut-out on the right side and an asymmetrical hem that is hard to see in my photos (as you can tell, i tend to favor dark + moodier images which is not always conducive to detail shots). i topped off my whole look with a pair of straight leg jeans and YSL sunnies. another 2017 attempt of mine is to wear eyewear more often – another “accessory” that adds so much without having to do much at all. and, its safer on the eyes right?
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around the age of 25 i started hearing one resounding tidbit of wisdom from anyone older than me – “30-40 is when you really learn who you are and stop caring as much about what other people think.” of course at the time i found it really irritating and preachy – my natural inclination in the majority of situations (to this day) is to be rebellious and do the exact opposite of what someone tells me to do. but, in this case, it is turning out to be quite true – especially when it comes to what i wear.

i gave up my favorite adidas pants because the “cool kids” in my school were wearing abercrombie and fitch and american eagle. even though i poured my time into reading fashion magazines, i gave up any real exploration of my own taste in lieu of ultra low rise flared jeans, logo tee shirts and denim booty shorts. in my 20s i would literally attempt to replicate exact outfits of my favorite street style stars + style bloggers. the problem with that is pretty obvious – even though i was attempting to replicate looks that i truly connected to, i wasn’t really identifying what it was exactly that i liked about it and, in a monetary sense – many of these women were wearing designer clothes – living a lifestyle that i only dream about.

but the past 2-3 months i’ve felt a shift. gone are the days that i frivolously spent money on stupid, trendy pieces that i’ll get rid of in 6 months. anytime i find myself shopping, my first thought is “don’t buy it if you don’t love it”… and i actually am able to put something back if it isn’t a love connection. while i’ll always follow the latest trends, i no longer feel a slave to them – for instance, bomber jackets are just not my thing. i don’t like how they look on me. i’ve tried. they fail.

figuring out what i love and what makes me feel amazing is a journey i’ve only just begun but, already i feel exponentially more confident in my abilities to make smart but emotional decisions about what i wear – and yes, i said emotional because you should feel emotional about what you wear – it should illicit feelings of excitement or sex or whatever you want.

xoxo, J

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